Tar and Feathers: Chapter Seven

Ryan sat up with a start. Her mind raced, trying to assemble the bits and pieces from the dream she just had. Her dreams almost never made sense, so trying to put any meaning to it was going to be a losing battle. Instead, she focused on the fact that she was just as female in her dreams as she was in reality. She ran her fingers through her hair, as if checking to make sure it was still chopped short then let out a sigh of relief.

She looked at her clock as she yawned to greet the day. It was half past eleven. Even with her early struggles to fall asleep, she had managed to sleep the rest of the night through and was now waking up at her standard time. The groggy girl wiggled her way out from under her covers. The bed creaked just slightly as she stood up. When she opened her bedroom door, she came face to face with green eyes and freckles.

“Good morning sleepy head! You know what today is?”

“Isn’t it a little early to be so chipper? Also, I thought you were mad at me.”

Abbie stepped away from the door and watched as Ryan sluggishly made her way to her arm chair, collapsed down into it, and then turned on the television to watch The Price is Right. She skipped over and sat down on the couch, which still had a folded blanket and the pillow that Jack had used the night before on it.

“You are so silly Ryan, it is almost noon, and yes I was mad at you but I just cannot hold a grudge overnight. You should always greet the day with a smile.”

“Uh huh. Well, I’ll get to greeting the day in another hour or so. Why are you at home by the way?” Ryan turned and looked at her suspiciously happy friend.

“I took off work so that we could go shopping, though I wish you would have woken up earlier. It will be too late to get lunch first now.”

Ryan let out her frustration in a sigh.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve already told you at least twice that I have no intention of going shopping. You just wasted a perfectly good off day.”

“I see you are wearing one of the t-shirts and pairs of shorts I made for you.” Abbie avoided Ryan’s refusal, changing the subject.

“So what?”

“Do you like them? Do they fit all right? Need me to make any adjustments?”

“They’re fine Abbie. A little loose in my chest and my hips, but I kind of like that. I do not need to be reminded of the curves I have every time I make a move. Also, the shorts are a little um… short. You can see way too much of my legs.”

Abbie eyeballed Ryan’s exposed legs and made a face.

“That is the way girls wear shorts, Ryan, above the knees, not all saggy and baggy like you like so much. You know what else? Girls also shave their legs, and yours are starting to look a little hairy.”

“Well guys leave the hair on their legs, and I don’t care what I look like, I am still a guy!”

“That is a shame, because you would have spectacular legs if you would shave them like you are supposed to. If you are not going to shave them, you are going to have to wear jeans when we go shopping.”

Ryan just shook her head. As much as she liked arguing and complaining, repeating herself was not one of her favorite things. She slunk down some more and turned up the sound, hoping that would be the end of it. Abbie did walk away, so she thought perhaps she had won this round.

It normally took Ryan at least an hour to fully wake up after she got out of bed, so once Abbie left her alone, she became oblivious to what was going on around her. The game show she was watching was not all that interesting either. It was just something to turn on until she was coherent. Now the noon news was starting and she was stirring a little. Abbie came back into the room at this point and sat down right where she had the first time.

“You know, I never asked you how your day went yesterday. I talked to Jack a little, but he only told me that he now believed that you were you. How was the comic book shop?”

Ryan looked up from her seat, recalling her embarrassing situation at the comic book shop and her subsequent fit of tears both in her car and when she came home and talked to Jack. She found it strange that Jack would not have told her about her credit card being declined, but perhaps he was too busy working on the case to mention it.

“It wasn’t the greatest moment of my life, Abbie, I’d rather not talk about it, but you bringing it up does provide me with a good reason why I can’t go shopping with you. My credit card has been cut off by my parents and I’m sure you know that my checking account has been dry for months.”

“Oh, well, I was going to treat you anyway, but it is odd that you say your card was cut off and yet I know you came home with new comics. It is almost as if someone paid for you. Did Jack drive you to the shop?”

Abbie had that look in her eyes that made Ryan think that she knew more than she was letting on.

“They said that since I was picking them up for someone else, they would just put it on his tab and charge him for them next week. They’re surprisingly kind to their regulars there. That’s why I like the place so much.” Ryan seemed to be mumbling at points in her explanation, a sure sign that she was lying.

Abbie produced a thin brown paper bag and waved it in the air, so that Ryan could clearly see it. She grinned mischievously at her friend.

“Well, I wonder why Cap would be asking you out on a date then. Actually, according to the little note he left you, he is pretty much demanding a date.” She giggled. “I have got to say Ryan; you have good taste in guys. If I was not already infatuated with someone else, I may have tried to snag him for myself.”

“Abbie, it’s not funny. I didn‘t even know he left that message on there until I got home. I‘ll just apologize to him next week for not calling him, he‘ll understand.”

“Hold that thought Ryan. I forgot that I put Roger on hold so that I could talk to you. Don’t worry, I told him that you were free today since you don’t want to go shopping.” Abbie produced her cell phone in the other hand and flipped it open, placing it to her ear. “Sorry about the wait, had to make sure she was fully awake first. What? You want to talk to her?”

Ryan shook her head and her hands at Abbie, trying to direct her to not give the phone to her. Abbie, like any meddling friend, ignored the direction though and placed her cell phone right up to Ryan’s ear.

“Hello again Squirrel Girl, this isn’t exactly the way that I expected us to speak again, but I’m not going to pass up the opportunity.” Roger said, responding to a whimper that Ryan made when she was given the phone.

“Um… hi. I’m sorry about Abbie; she needs to learn to mind her own business sometimes.” Ryan said, looking directly at Abbie when she said it. She was greeted by a red tongue.

“It’s quite all right. I can say that I only find you more intriguing after finding out that not only do you have the same name as the other Ryan, but you’re also living in his house now. When we have more time to talk, you are going to have to explain all these coincidences to me.”

“Yeah… I guess I will.” Ryan replied, glaring at Abbie still, as she had no intention of ever attempting to explain things to people at The Plot Hole. She figured she would just ease her way into it until they stopped asking questions.

“We’ll have to make sure to do that over lunch. I hear you’re trying to back out of a shopping trip with Abbie, so I guess that makes you free today.”

“I was? I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I think she just saw the opportunity to fix me up on a date and seized it. I was planning on going to the mall with her all along.”

“That figures. I should have known better than to think you would want to go out with me after I bought all those comics for you.”

Ryan was groaning in her head. Dating was something she had managed to avoid for years as a guy, though not by choice, so the concept of owing someone something for their good deed was foreign to her. Guilt trips were also something new. She was used to giving them, but never receiving them. She still had no intention of going on a date with Roger, but if she completely blew him off, she might have to start driving to St. Louis to get her comics. She had a tendency to allow small incidences to keep her from going places she liked for long periods of time to avoid the awkward situation.

“Oh… I didn’t mean that I was blowing you off or anything. I really appreciate what you did for me; it’s just that I really do need to go shopping. You know, for um… girl things. So today’s just not a good day.”

“Is that so? So you do plan on going out on a date with me at some point then?”

“Um… sure.” Ryan lied.

“Glad to hear it. I’ll give you a call sometime this week to set up something. I know you’re not excited about it or anything, but I’m glad that you’re not blowing me off. Don’t worry; I’ll make sure it’s something painless.”

“Heh, sounds great. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Sure thing. I won’t keep you any longer. I look forward to talking again. Goodbye Miss Campbell.”

“Bye.”

Ryan hung up the cell phone and snapped the shell shut before turning to Abbie. Ryan’s face was flushed red, equally from anger as embarrassment. She threw the phone back at her friend, though not with the intent to hit her. It bounced off the back of the couch.

“That is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me! What were you thinking?”

“You were tough on me when I needed it. Now it is my turn to be tough on you, and you need clothes, Ryan! So now that you have agreed to it, go clean up and get dressed. We are going shopping.”

Ryan sat there stunned, her mouth agape.

“Do you actually think that I am going to go shopping with you just because you tricked me into saying I would do it? I only told him that so I wouldn’t have to go on a date. I’m staying right here!”

“I can call him back every day until you do go. I have a lot of sick days I haven’t used yet.”

“Do whatever you want! I can’t go back to the comic shop anyway. I don’t have any money. I can easily avoid him for the rest of my life, or until I’m myself again.”

Abbie looked at her friend with a concerned face. She wanted to help Ryan out, but did not know how to break through her stubborn shell this time. Usually Ryan would give in to things she did not want to do with a harmless threat, but now it was completely different. Abbie had a feeling she was acting much like her mother did with her now.

“Ryan, why don’t you want to go?

“I don’t know, because you’re trying to dress me up like some doll. I can see it in your eyes; you’re tickled pink that this happened to me.”

“That is not true. You know the only joy I take out of this are the possibilities for myself. If strange things like this can happen to you, then there is the chance that I could get more than even surgery could give me. Ryan, I am not trying to force you to be a girl, but there are some things that you can not avoid as long as you are one.”

“You’ve said otherwise before. You said that fate chose me to be a girl, and why do I have to wear a bra?”

“I am sorry about that. It was in the heat of the moment. You were being stubborn and I got mad. As for wearing a bra, I will be honest with you. You do not have to wear one. Your breasts are not overly huge, so you could go without, but considering that you are not used to the way they feel on your body, you may want to at least try it out. It will stop any jiggling or slapping about you may be feeling.” Abbie explained. “There are other things besides your lack of clothing that you have been avoiding though. It is becoming obvious that you have not showered in a while. You are going to have to take one eventually, and you will have to confront the fact that your body has changed sooner or later. I would choose sooner if I were you.”

“You’re doing all this for my benefit, right?”

“Yes, I’ve been trying to tell you that. Listen, we do not have to get anything that you don’t want. I can not promise that I will not make suggestions here and there, but anything we get will be your choice.”

Ryan nodded, she looked to be contemplating the idea. She then looked back up at her friend.

“Isn’t this going to be expensive though?”

“Maybe a little, but the stuff I made for you will soften the blow. I think we would only need to get you a few outfits, a winter coat, probably a pair of shoes. The ones they gave you are pretty ratty looking. Then of course we need to get you some underwear and socks. Anything else you can think of?”

“You’re already going well out of your way…”

“Do not worry about it. Jack said he would split the bill with me.”

“He said that?” Ryan sounded more curious than before. “Well, then… is there any chance we can stop and get a new mattress too? I found him sleeping on the couch last night and that has got to suck.”

“Ryan, I have to say, that is quite unlike you. I am impressed that you would think about something like that.”

“What? No you misunderstood, um… the new mattress was going to be for me. I can’t stand that lumpy thing that he gave me. I wanted to give it back to him but then I wouldn’t have one.”

Abbie winked at her.

“In that case, considering how expensive they are, and that my paying for all of this is going to prevent me from buying some clothes for myself, we are only going to get the mattress if you allow me to pick out a few things for you,” Abbie said with a grin, “and you have to at least try on the things I pick too. After that, you can shove them in a drawer and forget about them.”

Ryan thought about that. She had a feeling that if she allowed Abbie to pick out anything for her, it was going to open the floodgates to all manner of things. Making concessions now could lead to much worse later on, but the impulse to renege on her moment of generosity was not there. She legitimately wanted to repay her friends for their kindness. Allowing Abbie this concession and surprising Jack with a new mattress were the best ways she could think of at the moment.

“Fine.”

“Goodie, then you take as long as you need to clean up and then we will go. You have no idea how big of a step this is Ryan. I am rather proud of you.”

With that, Abbie jumped over and hugged Ryan tightly, squeezing her like a teddy bear. Ryan did her best to pry Abbie’s arms off of her and squirm out of the hug.

“Why do you always have to hug me?”

“Girls hug each other! I did not see you complaining when you were hugging Jack.” Abbie shot back in a slightly jealous tone.

“When did I ever hug Jack?”

“When we found you. You lunged right for him and hugged him and cried, oh and you were naked at the time too. I have got to say, even with the situation as it was, I was a little bit jealous.”

“He’s seen me naked?” Ryan’s cheeks turned red again. This time it was positively from embarrassment, perhaps even a little bit of feminine modesty.

“You’re blushing! That’s so adorable! Don’t worry, I saw you naked too.”

“Oh that really helps Abbie, thanks, as if I didn’t have enough to think about before, now I’m going to picture the two of you staring at me when I’m in the shower.”

Abbie giggled again and pushed Ryan towards the bathroom.

 

***

 

Ryan stared at her reflection in the mirror and felt like she had been here before. The last time she stood in front of a mirror and examined herself this closely she had gone berserk and sawed her hair off with a piece of broken glass. This time, the mirror was beginning to fog up from the steam the shower was putting off. She wiped one of her hands across the mirror to clear it and tilted her head to the side. The reflection that greeted her felt like her own this time.

Even with her breasts bared and her shorts down around her ankles, she did not feel like she was in a dream. She was used to her face, and the new parts she was seeing for the first time seemed to naturally go with what she already had seen. She stared at the measuring tape that Abbie had passed to her. It made her wonder what size she really was. It was hard to quantify the perky round handfuls that she saw. They stood out just enough that she could not deny their existence. They were like works of art. Her areolas were just the right shade, and the nipples protruded out just enough.

The urge to feel them was there, but she did not want to turn into some cliché. When the discussion of becoming the opposite gender came up on any message board, the response of every guy was that they would spend all day looking in the mirror and feeling their breasts, and while she knew she was spending quite a long time looking at them, she felt like she would cheapen the moment by squeezing them. This same reverence for what was before her extended to her sex, though the already thick bush of pubic hair spoiled her chance to really examine herself. She found it a bit unruly. If she were not trying to avoid the trappings of accentuating her appearance, she may have thought more than briefly about either trimming or shaving it.

She took a deep breath before swinging the shower curtain open and stepping in. Long before the hot water started to rush over her body, she decided that she would not linger too long on any specific part. She knew that she could thoroughly clean herself and still maintain her dignity. What she did not count on was how good it felt to be under a showerhead again. She stood still as the rushing water massaged her neck and trailed along her body in streams.

Ryan dipped her hair into the stream of hot water, and then lathered it up with her standard two-in-one. Her bathing habits were the same as they had ever been. She quickly rinsed the soap out of her hair and pinched her hair, sliding it through her fingers to hear the squeaking sound that meant that it was clean. Next, she took the bar of soap and starting under her arms began to lather up with it, as she had done with the shampoo. She wondered how long it would take before Abbie suggested shaving under there as well. The quick passes over her breasts were all she needed, and it did not feel any different than having her shirt rub against her, and while there was a little uneasiness about washing between her legs, she managed to do that without incident as well.

What she took from the experience was valuable. Just because her body was different, she did not have to alter her routine. She finished getting ready and even took the measurements that Abbie wanted, though the numbers had little meaning to her. The clothes she slept in went over her still damp body and the towel went back on the rack.

 

***

 

“Why are we dogs?” Ansel, disguised as a Dalmatian asked his partner of convenience.

Zorn chose to disguise himself as a Rottweiler, perhaps because he had just watched The Omen. The two of them sat on a curb opposite a house unfamiliar to Ansel. Zorn was watching it with intense interest.

“Because of the cats.”

“I don’t see any cats. I see a house, a house that does not belong to the girls we are supposed to be watching. It was against my better judgment to include you this time, and I am paying the price. It has been a week Zorn and I have not seen significant improvement in either one.”

“It will come. I’m just preparing to leave this tiny little town for good once our experiment reaches its fruition. There’s a whole world out there of potential and I’ve been wallowing around in this boring Midwestern town for far too long. I just don’t like to leave loose ends.”

“And this house is one of your loose ends?”

“Yes, it is. Someone that escaped one of my solo projects.”

“I hope you remember our talk at that hospital years ago.”

“Yeah, I remember it. This woman is the epitome of Sloth though. I haven’t been able to get to her because she hasn’t left her house for years, and I can’t get close enough to the house to do anything.”

“Why is that?”

“Because of the cats. Can’t you smell them? I don’t know why people think that cats are soulless creatures. If they were, we would get along so much better. Hell, I wish I had been around in the Middle Ages when they were being burned at the stake alongside those supposed witches.”

“Humans have some of the most idiotic beliefs. I blame all of the ersatz prophets and the con men that claim to be in communion with those of us from up above. If we were allowed to shape this world on the grand scale that we deserve, perhaps I would not be so constantly disgusted by the place.”

“I love your spots by the way. The black really is quite fetching. Ha! I made a pun! Get it? Cause you’re a dog.”

“What you demons find funny never ceases to amaze me.”

“It’s about time they got here.” Zorn spoke up as two cars pulled up to the closely watched house. One of them was the standard black and white police car with the Gateway Police Department logo etched on one of the doors; underneath it was written Animal Services Unit. The other was a large van with caged in windows that was from the Humane Society.

“I assume this has to do with the cats. Care to explain what you have against them in the first place?”

“They’re disgusting creatures, full of dander and who knows what else. My eyes are watering even being this close to the house. On top of that, they tend to hiss and yowl every time I come around. It’s a little hard to sneak up on someone when some little fuzz ball warns its owner you’re coming.”

The back of the van was full of smaller cages, enough to carry a large family of cats. A man and a woman stayed near the van while the police officer accompanying them knocked on the door of the house. A frazzled looking woman in glasses answered the door. She was young, maybe not much older than Ryan and her friends, but she looked tired. Her hair was a tangled mess that looked as if it had not been brushed in years and her clothes consisted of a frumpy sweater and a long denim skirt that extended all the way to her ankles. An orange tabby slipped through the opening in the door, made it a few feet out onto the lawn, then rose its fur up and hissed, slowly walking back through the door.

Judith Snow, who was holding a grey Persian, took notice of the dogs resting across the street when her tabby came running back between her legs. She set the grey cat down, adjusted her glasses and then looked at the officer.

“We’ve received a complaint that you’re hoarding cats in your home Miss Snow. How many cats do you have in there?”

“Why is it any of your business? All my cats are well cared for. Why don’t you leave me alone and go pick up those dogs across the street? I’m pretty sure neither one is wearing a collar.”

“I understand that Miss Snow, but there are laws as to the number of cats you can keep in a residential home. Maybe you would allow us to take a few of them off your hands, just so that it could be a little more manageable for you. I’m sure that keeping so many cats is a financial burden.”

“I’m sorry, but I need all of my kitties. How would you feel if someone came to your house and took away one of your children because a law said you had too many? Last time I checked, we weren’t living in China.”

“Really, be reasonable Miss Snow. We have an order authorizing us to seize all of the cats if you do not cooperate. Wouldn’t it be better if you complied and handed over just a few?”

“You don’t understand! I need them! Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? My cats keep me safe!”

The officer looked to be losing his patience and made a move to enter the house by force. It was probably not the best course of action though as the next thing he knew, Judith bit him right on the nose and held on until she drew blood. The officer reeled back just enough to allow her to shut herself in again.

“Whoa! What exactly did you do to this girl to have her in such a state?” Ansel asked, looking over to Zorn who looked pleased.

“She was the centerpiece for a slasher that I helped create. I doubt that you have even seen a slasher movie, but I rather enjoy them, and considering my talents, I figured I could turn someone into one for real. I spent months whispering in this guy’s ear, disguised as his pet mouse, before he was ready. I helped him create a mythology around his character, made sure that he was well trained, and even helped him choose a virgin as a centerpiece. Judith there was at the center. My pupil made short work of all of her friends and was ready to focus in on terrorizing her when he slipped up, literally. The idiot slipped in a puddle of blood and knocked himself out. Well he got arrested and my personal slasher film never got completed. I tried to finish the job myself. I put on the costume and got ready for the sequel, but the girl had a cat. Stupid thing attacked me and I broke out in hives, had them for weeks. Since then, she’s been stockpiling the creatures. It was not my brightest hour.”

“Interesting, so now, you are getting your revenge by calling animal control? Really scary Zorn.”

“Just shows that I can get things done without flaying the skin off of someone, not that I want to make a habit of it.”

“Very well, but I am done watching your little coup on the crazy cat lady. I have our patchwork creation to keep an eye on. It is not looking good for you either. I will be glad when I can gloat about my victory and you are no longer a burden on my work.”

“Just you wait Spot, I haven’t lost yet.”

Ansel made his characteristically quick exit as another police car arrived with backup for the first officer who was holding a handkerchief over his nose. The spectacle was starting to attract a crowd of Judith’s neighbors too. All the while, Zorn lay in the grass wagging his tail.

 

***

 

Jack sat in the office of Lieutenant Lucas Morgan and thought about how this investigation was leading to a lot of sitting on the opposite ends of other peoples’ desks. The fact that his only lead led to a supernatural tar beast who was afraid of cats and had a name starting with the letter Z did not lessen his resolve to finally solve the greatest mystery of his career. It was time to test how tight his relationship with local law enforcement was. The lieutenant was a man after Jack’s own heart. He was a classic, hard-nosed detective with a flair for tradition. He now was sitting on the other side of the desk, smoking from a pipe that stuck out from under his thick auburn moustache. It reminded Jack of the picture of Colonel Mustard in Clue.

“I’m afraid there’s not much to tell you Jack. We’re hitting dead ends everywhere. Frankly, when you came in, I’d hoped that you would have something for us.”

Jack sighed and slouched down in his chair, absently looking out the faux wood blinds.

“Well, if I’d been given a chance to look over the crime scene, maybe I would have something to go on, but your men kept me out of there until you cleaned the place out.”

“You were still a suspect at the time. You know we couldn’t let you in there.”

“Yeah, I suppose. It’s just a little personal this time, you know? I’ve been trying to piece together things here and there, but haven’t had much luck. I do have one theory, but I would need access to the records department to follow up on it.”

“I don’t think that would be much help. The place is in shambles lately. Godfrey’s been digging through the place like crazy lately. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. He says he’s working on something, and you’d think with me being his superior and his friend, he would tell me what it is, but he won’t. I’m a bit worried to be honest. If his erratic behavior doesn’t stop, I might need to put him on suspension for a while,” the lieutenant rambled on. “I know that it‘s not exactly the FBI, but we could really use you on the force. This place is nothing but kids and people that should have retired years ago. You would also have access to all of these things you keep asking us for, that I otherwise can‘t allow you to see.”

“Maybe after this case. This is a once in a lifetime type of thing going on right now.”

“Don’t I know it? Whoever solves this thing is going to make their career.”

“Thanks for giving me some time Luke” Jack tipped his hat to the lieutenant and then headed for the door.

No sooner had he opened it than he heard screaming. A disheveled young woman in glasses was kicking about as two officers held her arms. One of them had what looked like teeth marks in his nose. Jack raised an eyebrow as he wandered out, watching the woman much the way that the rest of the department was. Even Lieutenant Morgan was at his door watching.

“You’re impeding my rights here! You can’t just take away my cats and lock me up! Don’t you people know what you’re doing? He’ll come back for me!” Judith Snow shouted as the officers took her to be processed for assaulting an officer and resisting arrest.

“Wow, I never thought we would see her again.” Lucas Morgan spoke up, standing right behind Jack.

“Who is she?”

“Remember the Southside Slayer? She’s the one that got away. Guess she’s gone a little batty since then. Then again, she was a bit batty to begin with after what she went through. You know she came back in here after we arrested the killer and said that he had come back to get her?”

“Really?” Jack asked with moderate interest.

“Yeah, said he had razor sharp teeth and black eyes and that he smelled like burning tar. She must have been having nightmares or something. We put a patrol car out in front of her house for another week but there was never any sign that the real killer had a partner or anything.”

Jack grew quiet. It was a little deus ex machina, but he was not one to argue the power of coincidence. He had just been handed another living victim that had seen this creature he was chasing up close. Now came the problem of how he was going to get to her. If she had assaulted a police officer like it appeared she had, the bail was going to be in the $15,000 to $20,000 range. Unfortunately he did not have that kind of money, nor could he risk losing his reputation in the police department. The best he could do was wait it out and hope that she posted her own bail.

“Hey Luke, if that girl there posts bail, could you give me a call?”

“Sure, but I wish I could get inside your mind Jack, because you always ask me for the strangest things.”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ve got to get going.”

Jack seemed to be almost in a daze. He watched the girl all the way back before she disappeared. When he turned to exit, he was surprised to see that someone was watching him just as closely as he had been watching the girl. Godfrey Woodward was staring at him suspiciously. While he had a good standing with Lieutenant Morgan, Godfrey did not like the fact that Jack seemed to involve himself with so many of the departments cases. He thought that he was a meddler and that he should stick to tracking down adulterers. Jack stared right back at him and the two followed each others eyes until Jack left.

 

***

 

“Now, just to warn you, this shopping trip is not an excuse for a dress-up montage set to 80s music. If I hear even a hint of ‘Send Me An Angel’ I’m turning around and walking back to the car.”

Ryan and Abbie arrived at the Gateway Mall with Ryan dressed in one of her refashioned t-shirts and a pair of jeans to cover her stubbly legs. She was shivering a little without a jacket or a coat to keep her warm. Even with the mild autumn going on, her smaller body mass meant she was cold in weather she was usually comfortable in.

“Hey, if one of the stores wants to pipe it through their loud speakers, who am I to stop them?”

“Can we just get on with this?”

Abbie had spent most of the time since Ryan had foolishly agreed to allow her to pick out an outfit for her concocting the best possible ensemble to get her roommate. A bra or two was a given, as were matching panties. She knew Ryan would never get a bra on her own, but she figured that if she could get her to try one on and feel how it supported her she might like it. After the essentials though, there were many choices to be made. It was hard to balance between something Ryan might actually wear and something that just made her cute. Ryan’s complaints about being used as a doll were the only thing that kept Abbie from going overboard with her ideas.

“Remember to stick to the women’s department Ryan. You will be surprised at what you can find there. I know you want stuff that is a little less girly, but I assure you that you will be happier if you get things in your size. There are boxers and t-shirts and everything you could want in this department.”

Their first stop was Macy’s, which happened to be at one of the ends of the mall. Abbie forgot to mention that the women’s department was essentially two thirds of the store. It was easy to get lost looking for something in particular.

“But pace yourself too, there are plenty of specialty shops for girls throughout the mall. I bet we could even stop at Hot Topic and get something with some pop-culture icon on it. I wonder if they have comic book shirts there, I obviously have never looked for myself.”

Ryan knew the only reason Abbie wanted her to pace herself was so that the shopping trip would be extended. Ryan was used to going into one store, looking around, picking out a few things whether she liked them or not and then leaving. She figured that if she did not listen to Abbie though, she would end up going into all of those stores regardless because Abbie would delay making her own choices.

Ryan was looking at sleepwear, where a selection of women’s boxers were, the first time that Abbie came running up to her with a charcoal grey sweater. It had a scoop neck and a crocheted upper body and bell sleeves with a lining right under the chest. She turned Ryan towards her and held it up against the girl’s body. It went down to about her hips in length.

“I like it. What do you think?”

Ryan immediately noticed the neckline. One of the things she was opposed to was showing off her chest in any foreseeable way.

“Um… it looks a bit low cut, doesn’t it?”

“No, it’s a scoop neck. It will rest above any cleavage you might show off. I think it would be really cute, and it is the perfect time of year for a sweater and it will go great with any pair of jeans.”

Ryan nodded. She was also not fond of sweaters, but it was Abbie’s choice. She figured if she agreed with the ones that Abbie really liked that maybe the trip would be shortened.

“By the way, I know you are looking at those boxers as a substitute to panties. You might want to look at some boyshorts. They are like panties but shaped like shorts, kind of like boxer briefs.”

“I think I’ll stick to the boxers. I don’t like tight fitting clothes.”

Abbie came back several more times as Ryan tried to accumulate clothes of her own, but never seemed to like any of the things she selected once they were held up to Ryan’s body. It became stranger when Ryan was on the shoe department being helped and Abbie would keep holding things up to her back instead. Ryan managed to select a pair of brown and tan Tommy Hilfiger sneakers that would have never been in her size if she had still been a guy, two packages of plain white ankle socks, a week’s worth of boxer shorts (although she was annoyed by the lack of a fly), and a white t-shirt with an Eastern inspired graphic of a lion amongst crashing waves that she snuck from the men’s department before Abbie rushed her to check out. All Abbie had from the first store was the sweater and two packages of pantyhose, one in nude, one in black, which reminded Ryan that Abbie was seriously intent on getting her to dress her gender.

Ryan soon got her revenge though. As promised, Hot Topic had a wide selection of t-shirts to choose from. Ryan did not even bother looking at the rest of the store and produced one navy blue t-shirt with a salmon pink Flight of the Conchords graphic on it and one white one with Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? on it in a red and black circular logo with Carmen’s face in the center.

“You are so boring Ryan, there were some much cuter ones available. You could have gotten something with Tinkerbell on it, or My Little Pony.”

“Just be glad that I didn’t get the Lucio Fulci’s Zombi one.”

Abbie countered by taking her across the mall to Body Central. Inside, Ryan was a bit out of her element. It was probably the first time she had ever been in a story made entirely for women. Abbie seemed to take forever, before one-upping Ryan’s t-shirts with a black sleeveless satin dress that had a v-neck and tied off with a rhinestone brooch a few inches below her chest. The hemline hit above her knees too. The only thing that saved Ryan from trying the dress on in the store was that she was not wearing any underwear. Abbie also selected a pair of black trouser pants that she insisted went with everything.

“We are not going through that again! You are going to have to try on some of this stuff. Get in the bathroom and put on some of those boxers we got you. Maybe we should have started at the other end of the mall. Then I could have you in a bra and panties and there would be no problem.”

Ryan rolled her eyes at Abbie’s statements. She only ever promised to try things on. Just because she was buying this stuff did not mean she intended on wearing it once it got home. She certainly did not see the need for the black dress or the pantyhose. Distracted by Abbie’s demands she instinctively walked into the men’s bathroom before she realized her mistake and had to turn tail. The women’s bathroom was disappointing, and was not some mysterious wonderland that guys made it out to be. It was just a public restroom.

Next, they went to Aéropostale, which Abbie said had many cute clothes. Abbie had been able to pass in public for about a year now, so she was quickly becoming an expert on which stores had what in them, and the opportunity to shop for Ryan she viewed as future research for herself once she filled out a little more. Ryan was once again ushered to the girls’ section of the store where she reluctantly selected a few pairs of jeans, one wide leg, the other with a flare leg that she did not realize had rhinestone stitched onto the back pocket when she selected them. She also found a red rugby pullover hoodie that she liked. Abbie stocked up on a few camisoles, thinking Ryan could wear them in the summer or with a pair of panties to bed. Ryan was left with nothing but a winter coat on her personal list of what she might need once they left the store.

The bags were already starting to accumulate, and Ryan began to see why women never shopped alone and poor unsuspecting men were brought along to do the heavy carrying. Given, she was replacing portions of her wardrobe, but the way that Abbie shopped, she could see how it could get heavy in a hurry.

“Next you need shoes. I know, you bought some sneakers back at Macy’s but you need other shoes too. I am thinking boots and something with a heel to go with the dress, but so you can also wear them with jeans or other clothes. It is a shame I cannot go all out on this. Shoes are an essential part of the wardrobe. Ideally, I would say you need at least seven different pairs.”

Ryan sighed and took a breather once they were inside Famous Footwear. Ryan told Abbie that the shoes she got from the last store were a size 9, which sent her friend rushing down the aisles looking at shoes. Ryan was dazed and tired and she knew there was a lot more left in the trip. She did not need to be told where the grand finale of this trip would take them. As she allowed Abbie to put shoes on her feet and pry them off nearly just as fast, she longed for her bed. Somehow, she had been spared the dressing rooms all day though. Maybe it was because Abbie knew that she did not want to try things on in the first place, but more likely it was because Abbie knew that if they did not fit that she would be the one returning things, which meant she could substitute what had been originally selected for something slightly more feminine.

“Which ones did you like the best?”

“Huh?” Ryan looked up drearily. “Oh sorry, um… I don’t know. I’m tired Abbie. Can’t we just get the coat I need and leave?”

“That is not any fun. Since you are so tired, I guess that leaves the selection up to me again. I really wanted to get you some pumps, but sandals will have to do for now. After I saw how cute your toes were, I knew you needed to show them off. One of these days I am going to strap you down and paint them for you.”

“Yeah, sure Abbie.”

Abbie ended up going for function over form in the shoe store. She picked out a pair of stylish Skechers microsuede boots in a sandy color. They had a white fur cuff at the top and Abbie knew that they could be used for more than just inclement weather. She was more proud of her selection of some black open-toed sandals made of ersatz leather; straps with buckles on them would hold her foot in place. They only had a 2 ½” heel on them, an elastic band at the heel and were well cushioned so they seemed to be the perfect first and multi-functional heels. Finally, she decided to be nice and got Ryan a pair of brown, suede clog slippers with rubber soles, and a fake fur lining. They looked nice and warm and figured Ryan’s feet could use a break.

“How many more stores do we have to go to?”

“I could not tell you Ryan. It depends on what we find where.”

Ryan’s drowsiness led her into the one place she knew Abbie was looking forward to going. After the first few stores when Abbie did not even look at the lingerie section, Ryan knew she would end up in Victoria’s Secret. Surprisingly though, she did not head straight for bras or panties. Abbie was still trying to pick out an outfit for Ryan.

“You’ve been looking forward to coming here all day, haven’t you?”

“A little bit, but come on, where else was I going to buy you some underwear?”

“How about any of the stores that we just spent hours looking through?”

Abbie stuck her tongue out at Ryan and smiled as she approved of the way a long-sleeved Henley tee in evergreen looked against Ryan.

“You know, we really should get you to try some of this stuff on. Why go shopping if you are never going to set foot in a dressing room? Besides, um… you sort of need to try on the bras if you are going to get the proper size.”

“It figures, I go from baring my breasts for the first time in private today to the first time in public. Why don’t I just prance around naked in the middle of the store?”

“Ryan, a dressing room is not exactly public. I get it, you are getting cranky and this is probably the part you have been dreading. I will talk you through it though. I know you do not know how to put on a–”

“Are women this stupid? Do you really think that putting a bra on is that complicated? I can figure it out. I just don’t want to do it.”

“You promised, and we already bought almost everything else.”

Ryan sighed, not saying another word and took a step into the dressing room. The sooner she did this the sooner it would be over. Abbie handed her a selection of bras and then waited outside the door. Ryan measured as a 34 B, which also determined what Abbie selected for her. In Ryan’s mind, there was no correct way to put on a bra, so she connected the hooks first and then slipped it on over her body like it was a tank top, then adjusted it here and there until it smoothed out. The underwire of the bra pushed her breasts up in a pleasing way.

“I don’t have to come out and show you how they look, do I?”

“I never thought of that, but since you brought it up, yes.”

Ryan stepped out into the communal area of the dressing room, a little self-conscious of doing so with nothing but a push-up bra on her top. Fortunately, there was no one but Abbie in the area at the time.

“That will look really nice with the top I got you here. Girls your size always look good in a push-up though. How does it feel?”

“It feels like I’m wearing a bra. Can I take it off now?”

The back and forth game of trying them on and showing Abbie lasted for a while, until Abbie decided on a few sexier pairs to go along with quite a few that could be worn on a daily basis. Ryan maintained her grumpy attitude throughout the process, and was surprised that she had been afraid to try them on at first. She still did not want to wear one on a regular basis, but that was more about maintaining her masculinity than any sort of discomfort or fear. Abbie reassured Ryan that she would not have to try on the panties too, but bought enough to match each bra. If Ryan ever decided to switch to women’s undergarments permanently, she would have enough for a week’s worth of laundry.

As they were leaving the store, the familiar sound of Natasha Bedingfield singing “Unwritten” came from Abbie’s purse. Ryan took advantage of the break in the action and rested on a mall bench, bags surrounding her feet. Abbie looked at the caller ID on her phone that read Karen Campbell and then at Ryan with a concerned look before answering it. She also made sure that she was outside of Ryan’s earshot.

“Hello Mrs. Campbell.”

“Hi Abbie, nice to hear your voice again. You are holding up okay, I hope.”

“I am fine actually, I am a little surprised to hear from you though, I mean, with um… you know?”

“That’s why I’m calling actually. I figured that you and Jack would want to find a new roommate soon, and well, with how long it’s been… we are running low on hope.”

“Mrs. Campbell, it has only been a week. Jack’s looking into things, so there is still plenty of hope that we could find him.”

“I love knowing that Ryan has such good friends looking out for him, but still… you two need to be able to get on with your lives. I am going to be in town at the end of the week. I thought I would drop by and pick up some of Ryan’s things to get them out of your way, and I could cook for you two and everything while I’m there.”

Abbie could hear the lonely voice of Ryan’s mother, and she became silent. She knew the woman was probably having a much harder time holding up than she let on, so without thinking about what Ryan might want, she responded.

“Okay, Mrs. Campbell. I’ll see you then.”

She closed her clamshell phone and tried to feign excitement again for the rest of the shopping trip. She knew she would have to tell Ryan that her mother was coming to visit, but she did not want to ruin what little of their mall trip they had left.

“Who was that?”

“Huh? Oh, it was just Jack. He asked us to pick up something to eat on the way home. Let’s go get you that coat now and get home.”

Ryan and Abbie exited through JC Penney’s, another one of the bookend department stores, where Ryan picked out a taupe microsuede coat that hit at her hips. It was nice and toasty and warm to the point that she did not mind the fur trim around the hood. Abbie, whose creativity had been squelched by Ryan’s mother finished her day by buying a standard ankle-length denim skirt, a must have for any wardrobe. The trip back to the car was of course much warmer as Ryan wore her coat out of the store. They loaded up the car with all the bags, but when it was time to go Abbie just sat there.

She started the car after some prodding, and Ryan started to notice that her friend was not all there. Ryan was left to pick out a mattress herself, which she was told would be delivered the same day. When they got back to the car again, Ryan had to ask what had gotten into her previously jubilant friend.

“Abbie, is there something wrong? You’ve been quiet ever since–”

“Ryan, I lied to you. It was your mother on the phone. She’s coming to visit.”

~ by Kacie Cross on May 12, 2008.